Making friends and connections at the stadium

Isolation & Breaking The Ice

When you first come to a match. You might find that you are totally alone. It's likely that either everyone will leave you alone or you’ll bump into someone who wants to show you around. There is little middle ground. Most people in Japan are conscious of their level of English and don't want to embarrass themselves talking to you or even appear to be showing off in front of their friends if they can speak good English.

If you don't know anyone, you may have to persevere through many matches before people realise that you are now a regular. This applies to almost anything in Japan though. You just have to show your face.

You might even find that people who are your followers on Twitter or other social media ready to extend that relationship to a real life relationship so don't be too concerned with it and adjust your expectations to fit.

What to wear

One ice breaker, I have seen people stumble across is wearing a different uniform to the club that is playing. Obviously, don't wear a uniform of a colour that makes you look like an opposition fan or one belonging to a opposition team member. The stadium staff may ask you to move to another location if the colour is too provocative.

For example, if you are a Manchester United fan, wear your uniform outside the stadium and so that anyone who can string some words together about Manchester United will have a reason to talk to you. Almost any English Premier League club shirt will draw attention to you. Once inside, you can change it to a more neutral colour or if the team you are supporting plays in red, then keep it on. If you get serious about supporting the club other fans will appreciate you buying their uniform.

Also, similarly, you could wear your national team uniform to J-League match. This would also be a conversation piece and find people interested in your country. One of my friends wore his Dutch uniform and had kids calling out "Roppen!" In the street.

A good substitute is the Japan National Uniform. At least it shows that you are somewhat invested in Japanese football culture. Again, do your research if there is a name on the back. You don't want to see that player lining up for the opposition!

Some teams have historical connections with other clubs. For example it is not uncommon to see green and white hooped Celtic shirts at a Yokohama Marinos match as their midfielder Nakamura Shunsuke is a legend at both clubs. If a Japanese player plays for the team that you support overseas his shirt might make a unique talking point and an icebreaker especially if he is a former player for that club.

Getting to know you

Once you have broken the ice and you can comfortably hang out with friends a group of friends you might find yourself suddenly more popular. This is human nature. Humans are much more amenable to people who they have seen to be socially acceptable to other people. I.e. Once you look like you are part of group, other people are less scared to talk to you, even if they don't know the members of the group that you are with.

One way to break the chicken and egg situation is to bring your own group. Invite some of your friends along, even your Japanese friends and coworkers might be interested to come if they know someone familiar is going to be there too then you won’t look like the loner.

Social Media

You can learn about other supporters via by social media. For example, you can see who chats with who on Twitter and whose friend is who on Facebook. You can often use Facebook to confirm the names of people you were briefly introduced to or that you recognize as friends of people you know. Once people start to "friend" you on Facebook then your name with your the "friends in common" count becomes an ice breaker in itself.

You might learn about the activities of, and members of, supporters groups on Facebook. Some even make appeals for new members as they often have ambitions to club together to buy banners or to manage the stuff they the already have to lug around to and setup at every match. Who knows, they really might appreciate your help especially if they can communicate with you and you can help them out.

One word of warning about social media. If someone seems to be a good friend on social media before you come to Japan, don’t count on them being your best buddy when you arrive in Japan. You might find that they are not so interested in meeting up in “real life” or keep their distance. This sometimes happens and is probably not related to anything that you did or did not do.

Conversation Topics

You may find that some conversation topics come around in tedious regularity. Have a good answer prepared for:

• Why (the hell) do you support this club??

• Which Premier League Club do you support?